In November, on her 29th birthday, Lauren Lovette cut her hair off and posted about it on Instagram. Last week, this New York ballet director who gives her dance a unique breath of fresh air, announced that she was retiring from the company. This haircut was more than a haircut.
“Every voice that was in my ear liked my hair long or felt like it had to be a long time before I got modeling or dancing – definitely dance ballet and all the roles I do,” she said Interview. “As soon as I left this hair salon, I knew that from that moment on I would say yes to what I thought was right.”
Why should such a young dancer, with so much to give, leave such a prestigious position? (Her last appearance with the company is planned for this fall.) As with many dancers, the past year has been an emotional one for Lovette. She basically stopped dancing; Instead, she and partner Matthew Tolstoy, a Chinese medicine doctor who works on strength and conditioning with City Ballet dancers, spent time repairing a house they bought in southern New Jersey.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a very long time,” she said of leaving. “It’s not that I wasn’t sure of my job. I was just looking for the right path and where my heart is. And especially after last year, there was so much internal work – internal thoughts and feelings and time to process and reflect. “
Lovette did not give up the dance entirely during this hiatus. As an aspiring choreographer who has contributed three impressive works to the city ballet – each with an important point of view – she found ways to continue this facet of her creativity. Upcoming projects include dances for the American Ballet Theater and the Paul Taylor Dance Company. But the idea of continuing as the director of the city ballet and fitting into her choreographic career at the same time was not attractive.
When Jonathan Stafford, the Artistic Director of the City Ballet, asked if she would attend a Kaatsbaan residence in Tivoli, NY, in February, she agreed: she would not only appear in a new work by Kyle Abraham, a contemporary choreographer She had always wanted to work, but she could also see where she was at with ballet herself.
“I wanted to make sure that I don’t run away from something,” she said, “that I don’t go because I feel like I can’t dance anymore.”
One night she had a conversation with the other dancers, including Taylor Stanley and India Bradley. “I’ve spent a lot of time last year feeling like I don’t make a difference,” she said. “They said some sweet things to me about different ways that I affected their lives and how I could never leave. I sat and felt so hugged and comforted by everything I heard and loved – really, really loved. “
She felt at peace. That night she slept amazingly. “I woke up the next day and sent my resignation letter,” she said with a laugh. “That was it.”
Stafford said he wasn’t surprised – he and Lovette had been talking throughout the shutdown – even though it’s bittersweet. “I knew she was thinking about this type of move and what she wanted from the rest of her career,” he said. “But I have moments when I’m sad that we won’t have her energy anymore. She is just a bright light. “
With an airy and seductive opulence, Lovette has always been a shining presence at City Ballet. She is versatile. Humor comes naturally, but it is also capable of inducing deep melancholy from within. Your characters have an inner life, even if they are not actual characters.
As she rose through the ranks of the company and became a director in 2015, what made her accomplishments all the more impressive was her depth and drama. She was just herself – a ballerina, of course, but also a young woman whose dance was full of poetry and seething with a kind of restlessness and vulnerability.
The charisma of her dance also has to do with her overflowing imagination, and that shows up in her choreography. Stafford said he first noticed Lovette at school – where students start dancing early – because of her choreography. “She’s not just going to make a piece that might be pretty and beautiful and fun,” he said. “You just don’t know what you’re going to get. You sit there on the edge of your seat and wait for what she will say. How great is that? “
In a world where dancers, especially women, play by the rules, Lovette makes herself and lives by her own rules. In an interview she talked about her courageous step to leave the safety of a being in a society in order to look for her next dance life. Here are edited excerpts from the conversation.
What made it so difficult for you to reconcile your career as a choreographer with a dancer at City Ballet?
I had to turn down a lot of jobs. I’ve squeezed everything into my discharge weeks, which are rare. I am not on vacation. I think it burned me out. Covid taught me that. And to be honest, the backdrop of life – that was a factor too.
In what way?
If my life was a stage, I had the same set for all of my adult life. I’ve been with the New York City Ballet since 2009. Before that was SAB [the School of American Ballet, which is affiliated with the company]. I went to the same restaurants and entered the same place. I know there will be a fall season, a nutcracker season, a winter season, and a spring. There will be a saratoga [season, in summer].
And you had to shake that up?
I’m scared of going into the unknown, but I’m also very excited because it means it will be different. And I’m sure I’ll learn some hard lessons, but I’ll learn some good ones too. I’m just looking forward to how that affects what I do and how I move. Who would I work with if I had to choose who to work with?
Was the decision to retire spontaneously?
I have a lot of people I trust in my life who give me nice advice and who have bounced things off for years. This was one of the first times – and it had to be – that it had only to come from me. I couldn’t even have Matt there.
You didn’t tell Matt to write your resignation letter?
No.
Oh my goodness Lauren That’s so brave.
[Laughs] I just did it! I like to take responsibility for my successes and failures, but mostly for my failures, and that’s a risky thing. It had to come from me.
Why is that so important?
Because it’s too big a decision. I know it would be more strategic to stick with the city ballet for another five years, with one foot in the door and the other foot out. I can not do it
